The student news site of Kennebunk High School

The Rampage

An Obituary for Summer

October 19, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

An Obituary for Summer Summer June 21 - September 22, 2015 Kennebunk, ME. Surrounded by beloved friends and family, Summer passed away September 22nd at 11:59 pm. Summer was survived by his older sister, Autumn, and younger brother, Winter. Summer brought happiness to everyone he encountered...

Promblems

David Behrens, Writer
April 8, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

Not that I’m a romantic expert (as far as I know), but I take it from my sweaty palms and awkward disposition that Prom season is upon us. The high school is abuzz with rumors, a fluttering sense of apprehension, and, as usual, drugs (but more about that later). The typical questions have ari...

Spirit Weakness

David Behrens
March 11, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

  What a good time to be a senior! As you may have heard, Spirit Week is coming up, and I, for one, feel extremely confident about my chances as a member of the Class of 2015. Winning Spirit Week is just one of the many experiences I plan to enjoy as a Senior over the next 3 months. S...

Shut Up About “The Dress”

David Behrens
February 27, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

  This bizarre fad will last a couple days, tops, so I have to say this quick: Calm the collective heck down, society. In regards to what, you may ask? Listen to the heated debate of your smartphone-donning friends five feet away and you’ll quickly understand: The Dress. ...

Valentime

David Behrens, Writer
February 9, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

Are you feeling the love, KHS? I am. It’s currently saturating the cold winter air and permeating my lungs like magic, or arsenic. It can only mean one thing: It’s almost Valentine’s Day in Kennebunk! So wake up, smell the roses, and grab your wallets, because it’s time to celebrat...

Examination Nation

David Behrens
January 20, 2015
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

Midterms, kids! They’re coming up! Now I know what you freshmen are thinking: Oh man, I gotta put in 30 hours for each of my CP classes and then complain to everyone who will listen about my one Honors class! (Stuffs 60 pounds of bricks into backpack). The good news is that...

Class Warfare

David Behrens
November 3, 2014
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

         There’s a nice vibe at KHS this time of year. All in all, it seems like the Fall is going really well (unless you’re a football player, touchy parent, renovation advocate, or voter). However, by the sound of things, you’d think our seniors were being forced to hand-scri...

Turn LePage

David Behrens
October 16, 2014
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

The upcoming gubernatorial election is fast approaching, prompting our own fine citizens to either: a) Pretend they know about the issues and care. b) SHOW everyone EXACTLY how much they clearly care by bombarding us with signs. No matter what rhetorically rousing bumper sticker you’re...

Poster Children

David Behrens
October 4, 2014
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

        You may have recently seen the large, impressive posters of our football captains. They are massive, glossy rectangles depicting our senior captains frowning in an intimidating fashion (though the sad truth is that they’re just upset about their season). Be that as it may, the post...

Boring Into Our Minds

David Behrens
September 26, 2014
Filed under A Column of Modest Proposals

Kennebunk was recently voted one of the safest towns in Maine -- a reasonable distinction, given the fact that our school’s out-of-date wiring and lack of sprinklers is more dangerous than any of our students. Also, the town itself is basically about as intense as your average Chuck-E-Cheese, except...

The student news site of Kennebunk High School
A Column of Modest Proposals